Jokes

*Q: What did the penny say to the other penny?
A: We make perfect cents.

*Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.

*Q:Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.

*Q: What are two things you can't have for breakfast?
A: Lunch and Dinner

*Q: Why did the boy and girl sprinkle sugar on their pillow?
A: So they will have sweet dreams.

*Q: What do you call a bear with no socks?
A: Bare Foot.

*Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

*Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

*Q: What can you serve but never eat?
A: A volleyball and a tennis ball.

*Q: What did the teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him dessert?
A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.

*Q: Why did the soccer player bring sting to the game?
A: So he could tie the score.

*Q: What did the wall say to the other wall?
A: Meet you at the corner.

*Q: What kind of shoes do spies wear?
A: Sneakers.

*Q: How is a baseball team similar to a muffin?
A: They both depend on the batter.

*Q: What do you call a hippos wife?
A: Mississippi.

*Q: What rock group have four men that don't sing?
A: Mount Rushmore.

*Q: Why did the pony have a sore throat?
A: He was a little horse.

*Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

*Q: How do fleas travel from place to place?
A: By Itch-hiking.

*Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
A: Drumsticks for everyone.

*Q: What kind of suit does a duck wear?
A: Dux-edo.

*Q: What would you get if you crossed a dinosaur with a pig?
A: Jurassic pork.

*Q: What do you call a rabbit that is owned by a beetle?
A: A bug's Bunny.

*Q: What English king is responsible for a fraction?
A: Henry the Eighth.

*Q: Why is crossing the road like music?
A: Because you'll B flat if you don't C sharp.

*Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A: A piiig.

*Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because it felt crummy.

*Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?
A: Frostbite.

*Q: What did George Washington, Christopher Columbus, and Abraham Lincoln have in common?
A: They were all born on a holiday.

*Q: How did Minny Mouse save Mickey Mouse?
A: She gave him mouse to mouse resuscitation.

*Q: What do you call a elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck.

*Q: What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a chihuahua?
A: A hot diggity dog.

*Q: Why did the football couch go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback.


Some jokes from National Geographic kids